Dating Scenario: What would you do? 👀Mar 24, 2023
Wanna Date Better?
Around 45-60% of the clients I see are looking to figure out more in their dating, relationships and single life - or it's a heavy part of what we cover, whether in long term one-to-one coaching or monthly single sessions.
Dating and relationships are often a primary place that anxiety or uncertainty will rear it's head. And it's understandable. It can have such a huge impact.
You've no doubt heard me share on how being single can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience, allowing you to focus on your personal growth and pursue your passions and interests. However, we also know it comes with its own unique set of challenges, particularly when navigating the dating world.
So, how can you prepare for that?
How can you actually improve your dating experiences and skills outside of just *literally going on more dates*?
Today we're taking advantages of one type of "priming", which essentially the act of preparing your mind for something. Priming isn't always conscious, but it can be done deliberately though methods such as visualisation.
By mentally rehearsing and assessing a situation, you can improve your ability to respond to it when it or something similar happens for real. In fact, we often do this without realising.
When you do this with dating, rather than simply going with the flow of confusion that dating and relationships can bring up, you're armed and ready to fight for what you want and what's right for you.
Diving deeper into what you think about dating and your core values, then applying these to your a number of scenarios is the number one way to date in a way that works for you. Want more? Check out my freshly launched 151 Questions for Dating journalling pack that features 151 questions and 7 different scenarios to learn through.
Ready? Let's go...
You've been single for a while and know you'd like a relationship.
Recently, you've been casually dating someone for a few months. You really enjoy spending time with them and find them fun, interesting and attractive. They fit the ideal partner in your mind down to a T. Have you got them in your mind? 🤤
However (cue sad trumpet), you've noticed that they haven't been very clear about their intentions for the future. You met on a dating app and everything's been light hearted since, it's been easy and natural.
They seem to enjoy spending time with you, but haven't expressed a desire for a committed relationship or discussed what they're looking for in the long term. It hasn't come up and you don't want to "ruin a good thing" by putting pressure on it...
They've had relationships in the past, and been single themselves for a while. You're not sure if they're dating other people but you're scared of asking because of a) pressure and b) what if they are???
Suddenly, you've found yourself knee deep in a situation you swore you'd avoid - a situationship?? or is it?? Is this dating?? This begins to take up an increasing amount of brain space and begins to spill over into how you're interacting with them.
Now it's time to ask yourself...
- How do you navigate this situation and what values guide your decision-making?
- Do you continue to enjoy what you can the casual dating experience hoping it'll figure out in time or do you seek clarity and intention from the other person?
- How do you balance your desire for fun and connection with your desire for a committed and fulfilling relationship?
Grab your pen and journal and get to work! Other things you may like to consider include:
- How could you approach dating to help avoid similar situations?
- What does "a relationship" mean or look like to you?
- Where are you at risk of compromising what you want?
Hypothetical scenario challenge you to reflect on what you're looking for in a partner and a relationship, and how you can balance your approach to dating to suit you, while also being open to others.
While being single can be a wonderful experience, it's important to stay true to your values and intentions. Remember, your happiness and fulfilment are worth pursuing and fighting for.
Got something you'd like me to write about? Let me know.
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