"I don't know" VS The Invisible Hinge
On Monday night, in Soul Strong, my private Monday night women’s group, I hosted a lil town hall on some incredible new features to the group that would be coming in over the next 6 weeks, plus got some awesome feedback on other group advantages members would love...
One that stood out in particular was the request for a session on structure for getting things done...
Now, here's why this stood out to me...
It's not because this isn't a valid request... because it is, specifics create clarity; when to wake up, what to do following - and in fact, this is exactly the structure my upcoming Mindset Mastery Morning Routine guide will offer... (coming soon)
But, it stood out because, well, I have covered it, multiple times...
I’ve covered it in Soul Strong.
I've shared my Routine Planner before, and shared it again this morning in my free women's group, Soul Strong Social. (Soul Strongs little sister)
In fact, those asking about how to journal already had my journalling prompt sheet... (a clear guide to journalling with prompt questions)
And another who struggles to get up in the morning to meditate, with my meditation guide and access to my guided meditations…
But they still struggled to put pen to paper. Pressing play was one step too far.
And this, my loves, is down to something I call “The Invisible Hinge”.
The Invisible Hinge is the swing step that either puts you towards or away from what you want, and it’s freakin’ tricky to spot because it usually hides behind:
😞“I don’t know”
😞Some sort of passable excuse that you know you'll let yourself get away with
In order to get past it, you have to take a step back, wave your-magic-self-awareness-wand and SEE it for what it truly is.
And look, I get it because I used to think like this too.
I’d have THE BEST intentions, I’d talk a lot about how I really really wanted the change, and I’d set the alarms, or listen to the talks… and yet push came to shove...
The Invisible Hinge got me every time.
It would come time to do the morning routine, the workout or the project and I’d crumble under their weight of "I don't know how!!!!" and…
I just wouldn’t… 😩
Then I would ferret around spending energy and time faffing in the "I don't know state" rather than... do the thing.
And WOOSH, I was swung away from what I wanted to move toward…
“I don’t know” became my last minute escape route, my comfort blanket.
"I don't know" serves as the perfect very last distraction from taking action...
"I don't know" is such a beautiful cop out.
Because it's a hard one to argue with, isn't it. No one can dispute what you do or don't know.
Now, The Invisible Hinge is often linked to our complex and historical relationship with learning, education and moving forward, it’s not easy. These are the multifaceted blocks and part of the deep work we do here.
But, unless you and I have some of the frank tough lovin' convos, you could be 75 still saying "I don't know" and finding people to entertain you. You could stay in that limbo space FOR GOOD.
I don't want that for you. I don't want that for you cause it took me long enough to see through my own ‘invisible’ distractions too.
But last night, I challenged the incredible women in my Soul Strong group, reminding them that in fact,
They do know.
They need to do the action-work.
They know because I work with them, because I’ve been over it with them and because we hold a safe space to push back on these cop outs you can SO easily tell yourself.
And, it's a large part of why I'm creating the Mindset Mastery Morning Routine, to make it so inexcusably clear, put you in charge of your day armed with the awesome work we already do. And that structure and clarity is incredible, but it isn't the ONLY reason thing that gets it done.
Now, there's a Part II to this, but the question I'mma leave you with for now is:
Do you really not know how to move forward SOMEHOW?
Do you really just not wanna feel uncomfortable while you do it?
Ask yourself honestly, that step back, that magic wand, help yourself to see shifts you know you want in all areas of life; work, relationships, self care and finances.
The human body and mind will go to extreme lengths to avoid doing the uncomfortable thing in the moment, and in Part II I'm going to let you in on some sure fire ways to ease up this Invisible Hinge and get it working FOR you.